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Posted: 1/30/2011 - 1 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ] - 1 Likes
Category: Upcoming books

The following is the Preface from "I Could Write A Book", currently in the editing stages.  For those that have traveled down the daunting dating path of the 21st Century, you are not alone and for those that haven't, welcome to my world.

 

 

The end to my fifteen year marriage, begged the question, “Is this the beginning…or is it the end”, to my life, that is.  For me, it was the beginning, but I suppose the answer to that question is different for everyone.  To define it as either or, I believe, is dictated by how it ends. Were you the divorcer or the divorced, the committed or the commitment phobe, the anguished or the antagonist?  It also depends on our perception and general outlook on life as a whole.  Are you optimistic or pessimistic, a goal seeker or a pacifist?  Do you believe life is a journey of choices with rewards and consequences or a divinely created destiny that plays out just as it should?

This book is a quirky spin, on my experiences in 21st Century dating.  I’ve learned and listened enough to know, that it resembles the story of many seekers, men and women alike.  The dating world doesn’t care about gender or age, how we got here or how long we’ll be staying.  It remains forever universal in its heart-wrenching, often humorous twists and turns along the way to never ending happiness.  Although the younger generation may be less perplexed than the seasoned-singleton, which is my politically correct term for “older”.  I have found that they are equally disenchanted by the disingenuous online dating world of the 21st Century.  For those of us that remember the good old days of boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy asks girl out, 21st Century dating is a world to be reckoned with, as we embark on a journey to find just one who remembers and values it too.

As I started the thought process of writing this book, I found myself mostly embarrassed that after three years of picking through the dating garden, all I had to show for it was blisters and a bag full of weeds.  After three years, that managed to feel long when I was lonely and short when I was preoccupied, I was still no closer to finding “the one”.  Impossible, I thought to myself.  Is it me?  Absolutely and…no not at all!  This isn’t a contradiction, it’s an admittance, that though I would love to say I’m perfect and my father would argue that I am, I am human and fairly certain I have been the subject of a dating horror story or two.  However, along with those horror stories, there was more honest effort than not.  When all was said and done, I’m so over online dating…I think, I realized that although I am still a seeker, I did find something of value…research.  I can assure you, that research certainly wasn’t my goal; but at least I have something to show for the three hundred plus dates I’ve subjected myself to. Yes I said “subjected”. 

I dare you not to find yourself or your last daunting date in the chapters that follow and I double-dog dare you not to laugh, or maybe blush if you were the definition of the daunting date.  So I ask you, “Is this the beginning…or is it the end”?  That’s a question you’ll have to answer for yourself, but for now, it’s the beginning of this book.

Posted: 1/30/2011 - 1 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ] - 0 Likes
Category: Poetry

Mere words somehow a touch it brings

While closing eyes to visions thought

 In dreamlike state the soul does sing

Of haunting needs no longer fought

Perfect, gentle, strong and still

Like ripened roses thorn less stem

To reap rewards of passions till

A silent touch brought unto them

Caressing skin…a minds embrace

Desires of oneness weakness brought

Imagined fingers curves were traced

In wishful webs two souls were caught

 

Posted: 1/29/2011 - 3 comment(s) [ Comment ] - 0 trackback(s) [ Trackback ] - 0 Likes
Category: Dating


The economy doesn’t seem to be the only thing that is spiraling out of control today, so too is the dating world! Traditional chance encounters have been replaced by online dating and love letters have become obsolete by the introduction of text messaging, with less than romantic and eloquent words to describe one’s feelings, like “ditto”. In this fast paced, quick gratification society, the art of dating is a thing of the past and the only roses you’ll see have been placed on the grave of romance.

In the good ole days, attraction and chemistry would be the black and white precursors to a possible connection, but with so many gray areas to be deciphered it’s hard to know what role you’re actually playing, in what has become the most popular game of the twenty first century…dating. The defining factors that make up a relationship, appear to have collapsed under the weight of technology, creating unappealing and inappropriate trends like Cougars, Friends with Benefits and Swingers Clubs; where the lines of private fantasies and real relationships are blurred and the value of boy meets girl has been lost.

Sifting through thousands of profiles, picking something as important as whether or not that special someone wants children, to something as mundane as the color of someone’s eyes may seem like a viable time saving option to hitting the local pub, but the reality of its limitations as well as its high incidence of deception quickly become evident and leave a lot to be desired. That’s not to say that on occasion, Match.com or EHarmony can’t produce an honest to goodness couple, but I would argue that to be the exception rather than the rule. Waiting for a wink, a flirt or the ever popular friend request to be given or reciprocated, is the equivalent to sitting through a horror flick as the music crescendos and you’re on the edge of your seat, eyes half covered, waiting for the gruesome ending.

As virtual dating continues to take the monopoly over human contact, “hello my name is” followed by a telephone conversation has been replaced with the question, emailed of course, “Do you yahoo”? Screen names that can easily be deleted and caller id, identifying the one you no longer wish to speak to, have lent a helping hand in the destruction of the basic and fundamental foundation of all relationships…communication. We no longer talk to get to know each other or even to say goodbye, we text it, email it or ignore it all together. Profiles leave little to the imagination or the intrigue of meeting someone new, with every aspect of someone’s life written in resume format, we have all but taken a shovel of dirt to help in the burial of romance.

It’s no wonder divorce is on the rise, with our “Have your cake and eat it too” mentality, where NSA sex has become the Ruler of a less genuine Kingdom.  While technology has certainly played a vital role in the demise of dating, we cannot remove ourselves as accessories to the crime. We have allowed ourselves to become nothing more than animations in an unreal world and have lost the very essence of what it is to date and indeed to even be human … real contact, conversation and connections.

As the gentle is more and more removed from the man, who used to know the value of a bouquet of flowers and an open door held, he moves himself farther from the heart of a woman.  As the feminist pushes farther and farther away from the character traits of what it meant to be a lady, in her quest to usurp and in effect emasculate the man she so desperately seeks to date, we must acknowledge and bid farewell to the integrity of any real and lasting relationship or even the possibility of one.